i have been doing a 30 day poetry challenge but i've been posting to tumblr instead of here
i could maybe post some of those here if anyone wants me to
Tooth and Jaw1. My teeth ache.Tooth and Jaw by ClamShellHeart
I want to chew the pennies
handfuls upon handfuls
clinking against my finger nails,
dipping into the cut on my thumb
and falling away.
In the dentist chair I was so tense,
sensing through the Novocaine,
teeth clattering, uneven, unfamiliar.
They rip out what is rotten,
replace it with pain.
I can feel loose skin
deep in my cheek.
I can't stop prodding it.
2. My jaw ached.
I forgot until now
the cat's face, a double take,
no bones under it, empty
in the eye sockets,
the fur all dust and cobwebs
clinging, I assume, to decaying
I didn't tell Brian.
We were in awe of the bare
elongated skull and lonely bones
beneath the bridge
hiking back to his house.
The earth stared up through those eye sockets
leaving kitten footprints
in my acid brain.
The cut near my eyeWhere did that cut come from?The cut near my eye by ClamShellHeart
The one right next to my eye
like a glasses mark.
Maybe from the rose gardens in Columbus
or all the trees on the country roads home,
after two hours of power outages
and driving in the rain.
(I wear it like the fading X's
from the concert, rubbing off on my thighs.)
Maybe from sleeping in that hammock
stoned and buzzing
tiredly reminding myself that James was sick,
I should do something,
what can I do?
With eyes spotlighting in someone else's apartment,
I didn't wanna touch anyone
so I moved to sleep
sandwiched between blankets
buried under not-my-pillow.
Maybe from the sand that got whipped from the beach,
burning Brian's face and eyes as he tried to keep watching
the storm over the lake, we ran to the car
and I watched the waves
like the window was a rain spattered TV-
The first time I ever watched tree branches in the wind
thinking back to all the poems I've read
comparing things to the sound.
I couldn't hear anything but what bombarded
Day StudyThree socks on my mattress,Day Study by ClamShellHeart
since I stopped matching socks,
pace, like actors reciting lines,
overlapping into a suitcase
to be reconstructed in a new place-
with any luck, in twos.
When I walked home, in Ohio and New Jersey
a bird and Kirsten's cat
legs bent, shoulders hunched,
but when I walked back there was a burial,
someone bent over a miniature retaining wall,
small still body held gently in metal tongues
being lowered into the makeshift grave.
Space1)Space by ClamShellHeart
Last semester (not only last semester)
I got so upset and stressed
I didn't believe James
when he told me I could be happy.
Quick cook rice dries so quickly
when the grains fall onto the counter.
At the botanical garden
and art museums, we don't have to be there long
before it all blurs together, getting too close to the canvas
the whole pictures turns to
brush strokes and leaves.
of moving in with a full time job
and a chemistry class.
How am I supposed to keep up with that,
hold up my side
of the understanding when I
have to take the bus
to have a space to cry.
Two full time schedules,
two top floor rooms, two cars and
Both our friends and families
are helping us move.
I smashed my thumbnail
with a drill.
All the band aids in the world
don't do what open air does
for it to heal.